Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Bean Day and Torture

Check out McSweeny's. Find out what Bean Day is and read the rest of this little nugget.

CHUCK NORRIS
CANDIDLY SPEAKS
OUT ON TORTURE
AS HE WINS A LIFETIME-
ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
FOR CHOREOGRAPHY
AT THE FIRST ANNUAL
WACO, TEXAS,
FILM FESTIVAL.

BY David Aldridge

- - - -

Honor

Thank you very much. First off, it's common knowledge that no actor or actress has had more on- or offscreen experience dealing with torture than me, Chuck Norris. Both ends, mind you. Certainly, I've been the victim of torture in many of my movies, but most people don't realize that I've also dealt it out as well. Just ask the host of The Price Is Right, Bob Barker.

Bob was a karate student of mine in the mid-1980s, and one day, after he showed up late with an attitude to a lesson at my dojo in Brentwood, I swept his leg from behind and took him down hard. Then I crushed his testicles with my elbow until I heard him yell "PLINKO!" with sincerity. Let's just say that, from then on, Bob was always 15 minutes early. But I'm not here to name-drop. I'll move on.