What It's Like to Be 7 or What Will You Do Next Saturday?

What? What? What?

A Soup to Warm You

One of my favorite things about the fall/winter months is making soup. I usually make one a week. Thai-style chicken and rice soup is our absolute favorite - velvety and with just the right amount of fire. The coconut milk makes it comforting when the days are dark and far too short. I made it on Christmas Eve for Roger and me. It's great with a beer (but what isn't?). Word of advice: Prepping and making the broth for the base of the soup usually takes me an hour, so if you're in a hurry forget it. I recommend making it over the course of a couple of days. That also gives the flavor some time to expand.

Andy Kaufman on the Dating Game

Cage: Organ 2/ASLSP

Listen.

Since September 5, 2000, which is the 88th birthday of the avantgarde composer and artist John Cage, the slowest and longest concert that the world has ever heard has been playing: ORGAN2/ASLSP As Slow aS Possible that means this piece of music, for the organ, will be performed for 639 years in the church of St. Burchardi in Halberstadt.

How the Decider Rolls

President Bush had “no recollection” of being made aware of the tapes’ destruction before Thursday, when General Hayden briefed him on the matter.

__________________

Q: When it came to Iran, you said in October, on October 17th, you warned about the prospect of World War III, when months before you made that statement, this intelligence about them suspending their weapons program back in '03 had already come to light to this administration. So can't you be accused of hyping this threat?...

THE PRESIDENT: David, I don't want to contradict an august reporter such as yourself, but I was made aware of the NIE last week. In August, I think it was Mike McConnell came in and said, we have some new information. He didn't tell me what the information was; he did tell me it was going to take a while to analyze.

__________________

Mr. Bush acknowledged one major failing of the early occupation of Iraq when he said of disbanding the Saddam Hussein-era military, "The policy was to keep the army intact; didn't happen."

But when Mr. Draper pointed out that Mr. Bush's former Iraq administrator, L. Paul Bremer III, had gone ahead and forced the army's dissolution and then asked Mr. Bush how he reacted to that, Mr. Bush said, "Yeah, I can't remember, I'm sure I said, 'This is the policy, what happened?' " But, he added, "Again, Hadley's got notes on all of this stuff," referring to Stephen J. Hadley, his national security adviser.

__________________

The book's opening anecdote tells of an unnamed CIA briefer who flew to Bush's Texas ranch during the scary summer of 2001, amid a flurry of reports of a pending al-Qaeda attack, to call the president's attention personally to the now-famous Aug. 6, 2001, memo titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in US." Bush reportedly heard the briefer out and replied: "All right. You've covered your ass, now."

Grammar

From Hal Hartley's Henry Fool.

Stuck in the Wick of It

I'd like to spend a few moments talking about microfiber. It has a creepy sort of ubiquity that could potentially alter our culture - think Velcro or polyester. How easy is it to find 100% cotton socks? (Right. I thought so.) If Buck Henry wrote The Graduate today, he'd substitute microfiber for plastic.

Sure microfiber is made of some magic substance that somehow deflects sticky kid fingers and it's made from fibers 200 times finer than human hair. But is it attractive? Does it feel remotely of this earth. No mssr's et madames, it does not. Still, we just bought two couches made of the stuff. Did I say resistance is futile (or in this case- resistance is textile? Oh. Boo.)

But, you say- those microfiber towels and sponges are groovy because they naturally attract dirt and dust. Well, I've found that they only do that when your hand is moving the cloth in the general direction of the dust. Like it doesn't work if the cloth is in the closet with the cleaning products and the dust is in the living room. See: not as magical as you might think. Still, you say, they're good for the planet, no more using all those paper towels. Okay. I'll give you that one. Oh, don't forget it's great for performance apparel because of it's amazing wicking ability. Right. If I had amazing wicking ability I'd be popular too.

Pushing Daisies

I watched Pushing Daisies for the first time last week because it was recommended here. I love it. One: because Ned, who can touch things and bring them back to life, runs a pie shop. Not only that it's called the Pie Hole. Isn't that great? Two: it's an opportunity to visit the set of the my beloved Gilmore Girls. Yes! That's right. The whole set is there- lock, stock and gazebo. Three: the writing and the surrealistic style. It's on Wednesdays at 8pm.

The Possibilities are Endless

My 3 year old daughter, Olivia, has a couple of new catch phrases. The first is, "don't try this at home." Say she's wearing her dad's slippers and hanging upside down from the rocking footstool - that would be an instance where this phrase applies. Say she's on the dining room floor trying to slide her legs up the wall while holding onto a balloon or a baby or a bag of cereal - again, the phrase would apply.


The other new phrase is a bit more complicated in nature and in execution (so to speak). Say I tell her she can't jump on the new couch. She'll reply, "When you die, and Dad dies, and everyone in the world dies, and they don't come back: Carter, Marshall, and I will jump on the couch." Or say she's riding in her car seat and we're on the way to her Dad's office she might say something like, "When you die, and Dad dies, and everyone in the world dies, and my baby pretends to die, and no one comes back: I'm going to Taco Bell." She coined this phrase today and this is her accumulated list for the past 3 hours, plus the following - eat oatmeal cookies, eat a chocolate lollipop, buy a Barbie, sleep on all the beds at the mattress store. She's going to be one busy girl.

Today's Pie is Envy.

And an American dollop (and we know how big those dollops are, don't we?) of admiration for Chris Boyd's 3 part interview with Laurie Anderson. Lucky, lucky boy.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Stanford Storytelling Project

I don't usually listen to the radio. If I do, I search for those obscure stations that have a broadcast radius of about a mile. So. College and high school radio mostly. Tonight I found or rather rediscovered 90.1 (KZSU) - the Stanford radio station. The program was from the Stanford Storytelling Project and tonight's topic was about the roles animals play in our lives. It's on every Monday at 6pm or you can get the podcast on itunes. If you haven't checked out Stanford itunes- well my friend, you don't know what you're missing. There are lectures by Frances Moore Lappé, the Dalai Lama, Al Gore, Calvin Trillin, Henry David Hwang, and Wallace Stegner among others. And it's free! How great is that?

Lines I Wish I'd Written

From Dora the Explorer.

Dora: (to Bennie the bull.) Can you give us a ride to the nut farm in your go-cart?

Before this my favorite line was from The Station Agent.

Olivia: Can I at least give you a ride back to your train station? The hotdog guy told me you lived there.

Hmm. Interesting that they both involve transportation and food.

Aaargh, You Scurvy Pirate!

My seven year old son has become concerned about coming down scurvy after he and his friend read about pirates in a Stephen Beisty cross-section book. This prompted him to try oranges. Unfortunately after touching one section he was repulsed by the texture and refused to eat it. Still he 's uneasy about the prospect of succumbing to such an illness. He asked about symptoms of scurvy the other night while I was making dinner.

C: What does Vitamin C do anyway? (He scoffs, trying to shake off his fear.)
E: Oh, you know, it helps the body create collagen.
C: What's that?
E: It makes up about every part of your body - your muscles, bones, eyes, teeth. That kinda thing.
C: Well, what happens when people get scurvy? (He starts giggling.) Do they lose their muscles? Do their eyes fall out? And their teeth?
E: Well, yeah. It's a serious disease.
C: Do they die?
E: They used to, but now we know that Vitamin C can prevent scurvy. There's absolutely no reason to die from scurvy these days.
C: Are there other foods besides oranges that have Vitamin C?
E: Sure. Tomatoes.
C: Yuck. What else?
E: Umm. Broccoli. Lettuce (as I make a salad).
C: Mom? I'm going to try lettuce tonight.
E: Really? That's great.
C: I'll try one piece.

Later. At dinner. Carter takes a quick bite of lettuce.

C: I like it. It tastes like apple. It's really good (as he sereptitiously put the lettuce on his napkin).
E: Why did you put the lettuce on your napkin?
C: Dad? Did you know that-
E: Carter? Why did you put your lettuce on the napkin?
C: I don't want it on my plate. It has salad dressing on it. Can I have it plain?
R: Sure. There's more lettuce.
E: No. We don't have any more plain lettuce.
C: Can I have it plain next time?
E: Just remember. You're going to have to eat a lot of lettuce if you want to prevent scurvy.

It's come to this. Threatening my child with scurvy. I will say this. It's gotten him interested in the properties of food. At the grocery store he asks me what vitamins are in certain foods. Like in the checkout line the other day, Carter asked me about garlic.

C: Can garlic save your life?
E: Well, it has properties that help combat certain diseases - it can boost immunity.

The checkout guy looks at me -

CG: Boy, that's an awkward question, isn't it?
E: How so?
CG: Well, you don't think vegetables can actually - they have things that save your life?
E: What vitamins and minerals? You don't believe in vitamins and minerals?
CG: Sure, I mean, I know that. But you know, garlic is just- if you didn't know the answer to his question you could just as easily say phytochemicals. (To Carter) Garlic has phytochemicals which is just a fancy way of saying plant chemicals.

The checkout guy looks up at me and winks. Ah. My friends. This is what we call a teaching moment. Some days I allow these moments to pass and become part of the noise. But in this case, I decide a smackdown is in order.

E: Do you know what those chemicals are?
CG: No.
E: Did you know they can be broken down into alkaloids like caffeine - I assume you drink coffee? Does it stimulate your nervous system or is that just your imagination? Or there are carotenes like lycopene which acts as an antioxidant? Or phenolic acids like capsaicin which can help relieve arthritic symptoms? Do you have problems with vampires?
CG: (rendered speechless)
E: See. Garlic works on many levels. I can't believe you work at Whole Foods.

Luciana Souza Sings Sonnet 49 (Neruda)

Life and Liberty

Is It Just Me?

I was driving by the local pumpkin patch yesterday and saw this.


Yep. It's for the kiddies. Nothing says tasteless like an inflatable Titanic slide.

Dan Zanes: All Around the Kitchen

Chaos is A Friend of Mine

The Top Ten Most Incomprehensible Bob Dylan Interviews of All Time can be found here.

Recent Additions to My Skill Set

I have a confession. I didn't learn to blow my nose until I was in my thirties. I think it was when I was pregnant for the first time. People tried to teach me, but I never quite caught on. We didn't have the internet then (back in the 80's) - so I didn't see this. My neighbor claims she didn't learn to sneeze until she was in her 20's. She was afraid it would hurt so she held her nose and kind of squeaked. I didn't like the feeling in my eardrums when I tried, so I gave up. This might be because I had a hole in my eardrum when I was child and it was incredibly painful. I mean I can't think of any other reason. Except this is yet another life skill my parents didn't impart to me. Come to think of it, I can't recall them ever blowing their nose. We never had Kleenex in our house. Am I a mutant?

Incidentally, this discussion came up because we were discussing how difficult it is to teach our children to blow their noses. I'm determined to impart this skill to them before they leave for college.

Found this little animation by Alexandre Alexeieff entitled Le Nez based on Gogol's The Nose. Enjoy!





What life skill should I conquer next? Well, anger management is an ongoing process. I can change a tire. Butcher a chicken. Make a fish costume. Perhaps yodeling?



Or whistling? Or both? Both?

Finding Your Level

My son was in a bad mood yesterday at the park and told me that he wanted to be a reporter and tell everyone that the park needed to be cut down. I tried to engage him by getting him to write a story about it, but that only made him more frustrated. He told me, "Well, I'll just be the President. They don't have to know anything or listen to anybody. They can do whatever they want. I can have this park cut down then."

Thanks, George, for bankrupting our children's future and their minds.