Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. - Lemony Snicket

You've Got to Break Many Eggs to Get a Few Flat or Give a Kid a Flat Egg & He'll Maybe Eat for a Day- Afterwards You Must Feed Them to the Wolves

Donut Friday. That's the day Roger takes the kids to school and stops by the donut shop. Donut Friday's the day dad makes breakfast - flat eggs made to order. Salt. No pepper. Not ever! Flat-freakin-eggs.

The kids think their dad's ability to make flat eggs is a skill of the highest culinary order- no gently curdled scramble over medium heat for them. But today Dad was in Seattle and I was left to make the eggs. Who knew that it could be so hard to render an egg rubbery and crepe-like? Can I tell you? I went through half a dozen eggs trying to emulate their dad's flat egg technique. Olivia screamed at me after each failure - "that's not how dad makes them!" When we were down to two eggs I warned them that if they didn't like these then -horrors!- no donuts. But the threat of a Donut-less Friday did not deter them - oh no! They will have their freakin' flat eggs and their donuts too. And I did manage to make two serviceable flat ones. Carter sighed and agreed to eat the last one even though it had a rise, nay an indentation, an inexplicable microscopic formation, a minor change in elevation that rendered it un-flat. "Okaaaay, mom, I'll eeeeat it," he sighed. "I'll eat it. Can you cut in slices like Dad does?"

Slices?????!!!!!! Slices????!!!!!!!!!

Children ask better questions than adults. May I have a cookie? Why is the sky blue? and What does a cow say? are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than Where’s your manuscript? Why haven’t you called? and Who’s your lawyer? - Fran Lebowitz

Where the Streets Not Only Have Names, But Cameras

Where in Dublin is Bono? Check out the Bono Probability Positioning System. Click on Bono's face to find out the probability of actually seeing Bono at that location.

Pie, C'est Moi. Et Vous?

You Are Cream Pie

You're the perfect combo of simplicity and divinity. You are a secret hedonist. No one knows how indulgent you can be. You don't indulge often, but when you do, you go for the best. You have expensive taste - even if you aren't rich. Those who like you life for understated pleasures. You're not flashy or trendy, but you have a depth that most people lack. Interacting with you makes most people feel incredibly satisfied. You are gentle, super sweet, and in harmony with those around you.

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Because You Are Too Stubborn to Ask for Directions

Where the Goblins Live.

29 Days/29 Gifts

What would happen if you gave 29 gifts in 29 days? I don't know either, but I'm going to enlist the whole family in this project. Let me know if you decide to do it and tell me what happens. I'll post updates once a week (or more, if I'm so moved).

Fowl to Feast

I killed a chicken. Stuck it in a kill cone and slit its throat. Dipped it in a 145 degree water bath to loosen its feathers. Hung it up by its two legs and started plucking. Finally, I took it down and put it on the table and removed its innards.

Eight of us took the workshop for various reasons. The food editor of our local newspaper was there which made most of us nervous at first. You know, what if we can't perform the function. Here we are now - failures in print. One woman, who called herself Mud, was trying to reconnect with her family roots in the midwest as well as find ways to integrate the good elements of her time as a Hari Krishna. Most of us had read Omnivore's Dilemma or Fast Food Nation.

I did it because I want to understand the depth of my food choices. I figure if I can't take direct responsibility for eating meat, then I probably shouldn't be eating it. At various times, I 've been a vegetarian - even following a macrobiotic diet. While I benefited from those diets, I found that I require meat to give me complete balance. Many of the people at the workshop had been vegetarians. Even Steve, our teacher had been one as a way to rebel against his family who farmed for a living.

I started anthropomorphizing my bird immediately. I named her Myrtle. She was red and like most chickens looked ridiculously confused. I caught her in the pen and then carried her down to the slaughtering station and I held her and stroked her for about twenty minutes. We developed a relationship. When the slaughtering started, there was a little squawking amongst the flock. What was being communicated? Some of the birds, including my Myrtle, squawked back and forth. Both Myrtle and the bird in front of me kept looking keenly at the woods next to us. A good place to escape.

You can alter someone's breathing by modeling relaxation yourself. I know this from working as a massage therapist and it comes in handy with kids. We're constantly modeling behavior - good or bad - and the people around us pick up on it and adjust accordingly. So, I tried to be calm and relaxed as we stood waiting. Myrtle relaxed and settled down in my arms. I wanted to give her a dignified death, or at least one that wasn't fraught with terror. Practically speaking, the more relaxed the animal, the less lactic acid that gets distributed into the muscles. Lactic acid makes the meat tougher - you're eating fear.

It was my turn. My voice had that deep, calm tone that means I'm scared and out of my element. I turned her upside down, holding her wings, and put her in the kill cone. With the other hand, I reached up and found her head. I pulled it through the bottom of the cone and stretched out her neck. The idea here is to slit the throat at the carotid artery. The bird loses consciousness and dies, unaware of pain. That's the theory. How do we know for sure? I turned her head to one side to expose the artery and pulled my knife across it. It was shocking to feel the blood coming out of her warm. Her body jerked. It took several minutes before she was completely bled out.

There was a continuity to the moments preceding and during the slaughter that became increasingly hard to maintain. For one thing, as I was standing there plucking Myrtle, I became insanely hungry. But the repetition of movements - the plucking - makes it easy to check out. Also, I was surprised by how quickly, just a few plucks, and the chicken starts to resemble what you buy at the store. Except it's still warm.

I live less than a mile away from this farm. The day's event promised to give "poultry eaters a deeper connection to the food they consume." What this means is that - essentially - I paid for the opportunity to butcher my own chicken. It's kind of odd when you think about it (and, of course, that's the point). People the world over either hunt/grow and butcher their own food every day. My great grandmother raised chickens in her back yard. She hung their dead bodies on the clothes line. Here I am, three generations later, paying someone for the opportunity to get reconnected to my food. I can almost hear great grandma say, "I broke my back raising chickens so that my children's children's children could pay to wring a chicken's neck?"

I took Myrtle home and put her in a brine bath - salt, rosemary, thyme, peppercorns, garlic, a bit of sugar, and water. I let her soak for a couple of days and then I roasted her in an iron skillet. Superb. Obviously, I'm not going to be doing this on a regular basis. That's not our set-up here. I have started buying less meat and have found that the little I buy goes a long way with the family.

The children have also become more aware of where chickens, etc come from. We've talked about how everything the chicken eats becomes part of us - we're made up of the sun that shone on the grass, the water that fell from the sky, bugs, gravel, etc. Carter observed that it might not be a good idea to eat so much ice cream because you wouldn't want it to become too much of you. Indeed.

I Still Cannot Talk About the Derby

Decadent & Depraved. But we already knew that.

Fabulous Bust

I'm inexplicably attracted to this.

No Pie; Cake

My son has been planning his 8th birthday festivities for about three months now. We've settled on an activity - boating at Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park. I had to talk him down from the idea of renting a motor boat that he and his sister could drive. Seems his estimation of his amazing 8-year old powers are a bit inflated. Now we just have to settle on the cake. There are three contenders.

1. The R2-D2 Cake (A friend suggested this one and to be honest, perhaps he has over-estimated my pastry-making abilities ever so slightly. I'd need more than the force to pull this off.)
2. The Lego Cake is more my speed.
3. Speaking of Speed. Carter is caught up in the Speed Racer movie marketing push and wants a Speed Racer ice cream cake from B & R. Spritle! Chim Chim! Come out of the glove compartment!
   

No Pie for You

How do I explain to Olivia that the penny in her Blue's Clues pouch will buy her absolutely nothing anywhere? Can't even buy time at the parking meter.

Army Gives Soldiers the 5-13 = Nothing

"The next thing I remember is waking up on the ground." Men from his unit had gathered around his body and were screaming his name. "They started shaking me. But I was numb all over," he says. "And it's weird because... because for a few minutes you feel like you're not really there. I could see them, but I couldn't hear them. I couldn't hear anything. I started shaking because I thought I was dead."

Eventually the rocket shrapnel was removed from Town's neck and his ears stopped leaking blood. But his hearing never really recovered, and in many ways, neither has his life. A soldier honored twelve times during his seven years in uniform, Town has spent the last three struggling with deafness, memory failure and depression. By September 2006 he and the Army agreed he was no longer combat-ready.

But instead of sending Town to a medical board and discharging him because of his injuries, doctors at Fort Carson, Colorado, did something strange: They claimed Town's wounds were actually caused by a "personality disorder." Town was then booted from the Army and told that under a personality disorder discharge, he would never receive disability or medical benefits. (RTRH)

h/t Adam Szymkowicz

Five Words You Never Want to Hear

Mom? Astro ate my deposit.

Yeah. The dog ate Olivia's poo. Right out of her potty. He ate her poo!

Mom? Astro ate my deposit.

After Olivia made this admission I ran to the bathroom to inspect the poo-catcher and when I walked by Astro, the beast had the audacity to pick up his head and lick his lips. No Shame! Like eating poo is the most natural thing in the world. Natural as in it came out of my daughter's ass natural.

I furiously scrubbed the poo-catcher and put it back in the potty. But what about the dog? He followed me around for an hour afterwards. Smacking those lips that touched - nay, ate! - my daughter's poo! Finally, my husband put him out on the deck so we didn't have to hear that telltale smacking. Are there enough mint dental rings in the world to wash the poo from his mouth? Are there? No. There are not.

World Penguin Day

Today is World Penguin Day - the day that marks the annual northward migration of los pingüinos.

There's still time to celebrate with Tuxedo pie.

It's An Old Joke and One of My Favorites

We were having dinner tonight and Carter was looking at his Solar system placemat and explaining to me about all of the inconsistencies and downright errors.

Carter: Like Pluto's orbit intersects Neptune's!

At this point, Olivia leans over and examines the placemat.

She points to the Earth and completely deadpan says: You can see our house.

Even Marshall busted up over that one.

Funnier still: Carter actually looked for the house before he realized she was joking.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside-down. - Mitch Hedberg

I'm Not Gonna Talk About...

Ray O' Light

The inspiration for this shot came from the Superhero Photo challenge: shooting into the sun. My little guy had a good time helping me out with this one.

First Snow/First Sled Ride

We made it to Flagstaff without mortgaging the boy, but just barely. It was touch and go what with the one hour it took to get out of Phoenix/Scottsdale on the 101 loop. But once we made it Flagstaff and ate at the Route 66 Dog Haus (a drive-through hot dog place shaped like a - you guessed it) there was a little less 'tudiness all around - except for Olivia who refused to order anything at this fine establishment.

We found ourselves an over-priced tourist sled and headed to Crowley Pit. Now I'll grant you - Crowley Pit - while not the most inspiring name for a snow area is fairly self-descriptive. This marks the first time any of our kids had seen snow. They took to it like baby seals or something like that.


Everyone who could voluntarily hold themselves in an upright position had a turn on the sled. The beauty part is that it started to snow while we were there, so the kids saw falling snow - just in case they were thinking it came up from the ground.

Skippy's Secret Desire

You will want one of these, oh yes you will. Unless your dog goes to work with you - even then think of the fun.

Perspective is All

Carter: So how much do you weigh?
Me: I'm not saying.
Carter: But this is my homework. We have to weigh something and we only have a people scale.
Me: Marshall weighs 20 pounds.
Carter: How much does Olivia weigh?
Me: About thirty pounds.
Carter: How much does Dad weigh?
Me: You'll have to ask him.
Carter: How much do you weigh?
Me: 160 pounds.
Carter: How much?
Me: 160 pounds.
Carter: 160 pounds! You could lift all my friends on the see saw! I weigh 60 pounds. Do you realize you weigh 99 pounds more than me?

40-Some Things to Do Before My Next Birthday

Inspired by Andrea at Hula Seventy, I created this list for my birthday.

1. Finish my thesis.
2. Breathe.
   
3. Learn to meditate.
4. Take a Qi Gong class.
   
5. Teach the kids to lie around the house.
6. Teach the kids some Yoga.
7. Make a new friend.
   
8. Reconnect with an old friend.
   
9. Read out loud.
10. Read two Shakespeare plays I haven't read.
11. Read two Chekov plays I haven't read.
12. Read a new play every month.
13. Read two of the books on David Sedaris' Recommended Reading List.
    
14. Resume free-writing exercises.
    
15. Start a rewrite of one of my old plays.
16. Start my new screenplay.
17. Organize all my source material for playwriting projects.
18. Write down the master plan for my theater center.
    
19. Take a food writing class at Stanford.
20. Start learning a new language (I'm thinking Italian).
21. Take a contact improv class.
22. Sew some stuff for my kids.
23. Sew some stuff to sell on Etsy.
24. Get my bike tuned up and ready to ride.
25. Get a grill.
26. Invite the neighbors over.
    
27. Experiment with making whole-wheat and/or gluten-free pie crusts.
    
28. Make a fresh peach pie this summer.
29. Take the kids berry-picking.
30. Go to the farmer's market most Saturdays or Sundays.
31. Eat more vegetables.
32. Drink more water.
    
33. Get a massage or two or four or more.
34. Eat a meal at Zuni.
    
35. Plant pumpkins and sunflowers with my kids.
36. Plant bulbs in front of my kitchen window.
    
37. Buy a birthday cake for absolutely no reason. Anyone who wants can make a wish on it.
38. Continue with the clutter-taming.
    
39. Start a play reading salon.
40. Involve the kids in a guerrilla art project.
41. Do some of the Learning to Love You More assignments.
42. Go on a geocaching excursion in our area.
    
43. Take my kids to SFMOMA.
44. Take the kids to Big Sur and rent a cabin for a weekend.
45. Travel some place we've never been.
46. Attend the PICA TBA Festival.
    
47. Celebrate Winter Solstice by having some folks over for dinner.

The Jack Ad for Hillster

Umm, maybe before they included that quote from A Few Good Men, they should have read the rest of the line?

Jessup: I want to tell you something and listen up, 'cause I mean this. You're the luckiest man in the world. There is, believe me, nothing sexier on earth than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all I say, 'cause this is true: If you've never gotten a blow-job from a superior officer, then you are letting the best of life just pass you by.

Jo: Did you consult with the doctor that night?

Kaffee: Back off, Commander.

Jessup: You see, my problem is, of course, that I'm a Lt. Colonel. I'll have to keep taking cold showers till they elect some gal President.

Addendum
Here's the scene from the movie.

Midolescence

Midway on our life's journey
I found myself in the dark wood
The right road lost - The Inferno, Dante (trans. Robert Pinsky)

Last week, one of the women at my daughter's preschool brought up the idea of Midolescence, the new term for midlife crisis and, considering the hormonal changes, I think a more self-descriptive term. When she found out my age she grew concerned:

Preschool mom: Don't you just think about how your life is half over? Really. You've already lived half of your life. Doesn't that scare you?
Me: No. What scares me is thinking about my twenties. I'm lucky I survived my own stupidity.

Compounded Daily

Driving past Scottsdale on our way to Flagstaff I noticed an interesting new business and pointed it out to Roger.

Me: Child Mortage. That building says Child Mortage. Hmmm-
Roger: Hey, Carter. We have a new consequence for your bad behavior.
Me: Let the money just roll in.

Have It Your Way

Burger King. San Jose Airport.

I decided to order a quick lunch for my kids before we hopped on the plane for Phoenix. We queued up at the home of the you-know-what (but not for hamburgers my god they recalled 143 lbs of ground beef the day before are you crazy?!!). No. We went for the chicken nuggets and oh yes I know how they lived and died. It's The Omnivore's Dilemma all day every day. Carter managed to convince me to order the kid's meals which is not something we normally do.

Waitress: Do you want a boy toy or a girl toy?

Me: Excuse me?

Waitress: Boy toy or girl toy?

Me: I thought these were kid's meals.

Something you won't find on the menu at BK.

Brand New Key

Barack Obama skated here all the way from the beach just to see you.

Barack Obama has parsed your error.

Barack Obama relates to what you are saying.

Barack Obama warmed up your car for you.

Barack Obama made you a mix tape.

What will he do for you?

h/t Suburban Bliss

I Hate It When You Peer At Me So Intently

When I was a child I made an observation: People's faces distort in direct proportion to the amount of stress you are under. The more upset you are, the weirder, more disturbing people look. It's also a fact that when you're sobbing uncontrollably the only people who want to comfort you are the ones who look like they're extras from a David Lynch film. This thought returned on Tuesday night as I sat on a bench outside the restaurant holding Olivia while she screamed "I'm hungry! I want a highchair!" She had a meltdown when waitress gave her a booster seat instead.

Now I'm sure to Olivia her reasons for wanting a highchair are perfectly rational and most likely have to do with the fact that her little brother Marshall was given one and Olivia deep inside wants to be the baby too. But even though she's "four now and taller," she really isn't in a place where she can analyze her motives. "I'm HUNGRY! LET. ME. EAT! I want a highchair!"

Every person who came out of the restaurant looked the other way and moved quickly to their cars. Except for this old woman with craters for eyes who looked like she most likely lived in a gingerbread house. Oh yes. She wanted to help. She bent down and leaned in towards us until she was three inches from our faces, the hairspray from her tease-job wafting unappetizingly close to our noses. "What's your problem little Missy?" Her sunken eyes rolling in two different directions. I absolutely swear they did. Two different directions.

I'm sure our screams are being measured in space even now.

Weekend Obsessive

I had a hankering for brownies.
Carter doesn't like chocolate so he asked if I could make blondies instead.
Fair enough. I had seen a recipe that sounded good so I thought I'd try it.
It was a complete failure.
Too much like cake.
I like cake okay. But I wanted brownies. Or rather blondies.
So I made another batch.
Still too cake-like.
I ran out of eggs.
I bought more. I decided that I would get these to come out right no matter how many batches I had to make.
So.

I made another batch. Mixed them less. Put them in a bigger pan.

Not quite the taste-sensation I was hoping for.

Too dry.

I am sick of blondies.

Bring on the chocolate.

Cute and Healthful

Carter: Here Mom. Happy Valentine's Day.

(Hands me a heart-shaped box with Cutie written on it and three Hershey's Kisses inside.)

Me: Thank you, Carter. I love chocolate.

Carter: I hope it's dark chocolate. It's better for your cholesterol.

Happy Valentine's Day

1000 Journals Project

More here.

Neptune's Castle

We found this driftwood shack on the beach last year.

We did a bit of remodeling because we're remodeling-type folk.

We embellished it a little with treasures we found.

We sang songs and beat drums on it.

We waited for the waves to come and carry it away.

I look at the Augusteum, and I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation.

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A Little Romance

Can I just say one more time how mucha, mucha, mucha I love Youtube? Here's one of my favorite childhood movies - A Little Romance featuring a young Diane Lane and Theolonius Broussard. The opening features classic American films dubbed in French. John Wayne saying "Qu'est-ce que tu prefere?" just cracks me up. Kinda cheesy I guess. But I used to watch it obsessively. I could just buy the thing, but it's so much fun to watch it on my computer broken up into ten minutes pieces. Go figure.

National Pie Day

It's National Pie Day. Did you know this? One of you did and alerted me. Why National Pie Day?
Because back in 1986 (how's that for a long standing tradtion?) the American Pie Council wanted to acknowledge Crisco's 75th anniversary of "serving foods to families everywhere." I did not know Crisco was considered a food item. No, I did not. Will I bake a pie to commemorate Crisco? Hmmm. There's always room for pie, no? I'm going to see what I can whip up. I found a great recipe yesterday. Can you guess what kind? Bittersweet Chocolate Pecan. I guess this does not qualify as a "new" recipe.

I did have Quiche for lunch. That may be as close as we get to pie today. It's been very hectic in Spreenland so far. But I will save those details for another time.

Thanks T.

Stuck Inside the House with Runny Noses and Hacking Coughs

Thank G.O.D. for Boxes

and Stuffed Lobsters.

Yes. It's the dog's toy.

Ain't No Power Like...

I love pop-up books like this and books that feature ephemera like this. That's just one of the reasons I'm enjoying Project 1968. The blog chronicles the experiences of two women up to and during the 1968 Democratic Convention. Laura calls her new work a blog docu-novel. Check it out. It's an innovative use of the blog medium and an informative, entertaining read.

I think of something Albert Camus once said: he said beware of all veterans. And he didn't just mean war veterans, he meant anti-war veterans, veterans of our movement. Because although as one gets older one has certain insights and experiences to draw on, we're all scarred and conditioned by those experiences and by the times in which we were born and in which we live. And one of the things that I learned in the 60s and people like Clayton amongst others who taught me that was that every new generation comes along with new insights and new perspectives and that we really are all part of one another and all do need each other. - Dave Dellinger

Inspiration

Hunter S. Thompson, William S. Burroughs, Virginia Woolf, Gertrude Stein, Cora Sandel, Tim Etchells, James Agee, Lester Bangs, Mary Overlie, Anne Bogart, Ariane Mnouchkine, Zeami Motokiyo, Tadashi Suzuki, Jacques LeCoq, Bob Fosse, Frank Lloyd Wright, Maya Lin, Frank Gehry, Jacques Derrida, Walker Evans, Andy Warhol, Chuck Close, Glenn Gould, Bach, David Byrne - especially "My Life In The Bush of Ghosts", Talking Heads, Brian Eno, Radiohead, Charles Mingus, Tom Waits, John Prine, Rahsaan Roland Kirk, Paul D. Miller, John Lydon, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, Bob Dylan, Soul Coughing, Mike Doughty, Bessie Smith, Nina Simone, Alberta Hunter, Bill Hicks, Andy Kaufman, David Cross, Bill Murray, Bourbon, Cemetaries and war memorials world-wide, The Berlin Wall, Sergei Eisenstein, Jean-luc Godard, Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, Kubrick, Bruce Lee films, Kinji Fukasaku, Hirokazu Kore-eda, Steven Soderbergh, Spike Lee, Wim Wenders, Werner Herzog, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Jean Renoir, Jim Jarmusch, Coffee, Pilsbury Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies, chocolate cake, the bible, the aprocrypha, James Joyce, Batman 1960's TV Series, The Aventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Peewee's Playhouse, overheard conversations, my kids, print material for cut-up/collage writing and images of people and spaces including, but not limited to- Adbusters, i-D, Dwell, self-help books, recipes, discarded lists, stuff I find on the ground or handed to me by random people on the street, maps, junk mail, a glass of water

Strike TV Club

Check out Alan Sepinwall's Strike TV Club. The first show he offers up is the pilot for Cupid. Cupid was one of my favorite TV shows. First, great writing. Intelligent, witty. The references fly like a Gilmore Girls Marathon. I like a show where I have to reach to catch things. Secondly, Jeremy Piven. I love to watch him perform because it always looks like he's having so much fun. In Cupid, Piven plays Eros, the God of Love, kicked to the curb by the Olympians and given the task of uniting 100 couples before he can return to Mount Olympus. Or is he? I would have loved to see the pitch for this series.

First Pie of the New Year.

I'm not a big fan of Pecan pie, but you wouldn't know it from this blog - half of the pie recipes I have on here are for pecan pie. In fact, it is the same pie recipe posted twice. But honestly, Chocolate Pecan Pie with Bourbon - it's mighty tasty. And, over the past two years, I've mastered the technique for making them. I made two CPP's avec Bourbon for Christmas and they were absolute perfection. Well, there was too much Bourbon. I never thought I would say such a thing but - unequivocally - 4Tbs of Bourbon is beyond my tolerance (in pie). Texture-wise though, these pies were light and moist. I took a bite and it almost made me cry. If I sit here and use my incredible powers of concentration, I start to well up from the memory of those pies. But I am a professionally trained actor and I spent a lot of money so I would be able to do fancy stuff like make myself cry over the memory of pie. I don't advise it.

For New Year's I made - guess what? Pecan Pie. But with a twist - German Chocolate Pecan Pie. I saw a picture of this in the Rachel Ray magazine and it oozed yummy goodness so I had to give it a try. This is the easiest pecan pie recipe ever and it is indeed, scrumptious. Rachel Ray is a beloved figure in our household. My daughter, Olivia, loves 30 Minute Meals, but it confuses her that Rachel changes her shirt every thirty minutes. "Why did her change her shirt?" "She must have gotten chili on it." Olivia thinks Rach is our neighbor. Yep. "Where is her bedroom, Mommy? When can we have dinner at her house?" I let this go on because frankly, it is so charming and precious. She'll hate me one day for it I'm sure.

New Year. New Rules.
Given that it's My Bill Murray Year, I'm compelled to make some changes. I must. There. I've said it. I must. There are a lot of pies out there and they must be tried. They Must. So, one of my resolutions for the New Year is to branch out pie-wise. Expect to see some posts about fruit pies.

No. That's not all. Oh no. I'm going to make friends with the Internet this year. I'm going to be chatting it up regularly. Internet: you are my new best friend. I'm going to spill and consume your energy like a needy, undervalued girlfriend. But my self-esteem will remain intact, know why Internet? Because I'm in charge and you are a disembodied figment of my imagination, kind of. Plus, you apparently have no way of responding. Let's keep that channel going one way shall we? Hmm?

My Bill Murray Year

Any year that begins with a dream where Karl Rove hands you toilet paper underneath the bathroom stall !in the women's room! and, as you proceed to take care of business, the Rove toilet paper turns to gummy worms in your hands which you must then force down the crapper because "for chrissake's woman it's evidence!" is a year when you bet your sweet bippy you better be upping your game. Likewise, any year where, in the same dream, Bill Murray appears on a glittering gold space ship which he deftly lands and then that very space ship - razzle dazzle! - transforms into a bar where Bill is your personal mixologist who proceeds to offer you martinis and sing lounge songs as you sit on a barstool looking smashing in your red cocktail dress is a year where the world is going to be on your string. You bet. Go 2008!

So what will I do with it? Stay Tuned.

What It's Like to Be 7 or What Will You Do Next Saturday?

What? What? What?

A Soup to Warm You

One of my favorite things about the fall/winter months is making soup. I usually make one a week. Thai-style chicken and rice soup is our absolute favorite - velvety and with just the right amount of fire. The coconut milk makes it comforting when the days are dark and far too short. I made it on Christmas Eve for Roger and me. It's great with a beer (but what isn't?). Word of advice: Prepping and making the broth for the base of the soup usually takes me an hour, so if you're in a hurry forget it. I recommend making it over the course of a couple of days. That also gives the flavor some time to expand.

Andy Kaufman on the Dating Game

Cage: Organ 2/ASLSP

Listen.

Since September 5, 2000, which is the 88th birthday of the avantgarde composer and artist John Cage, the slowest and longest concert that the world has ever heard has been playing: ORGAN2/ASLSP As Slow aS Possible that means this piece of music, for the organ, will be performed for 639 years in the church of St. Burchardi in Halberstadt.

How the Decider Rolls

President Bush had “no recollection” of being made aware of the tapes’ destruction before Thursday, when General Hayden briefed him on the matter.

__________________

Q: When it came to Iran, you said in October, on October 17th, you warned about the prospect of World War III, when months before you made that statement, this intelligence about them suspending their weapons program back in '03 had already come to light to this administration. So can't you be accused of hyping this threat?...

THE PRESIDENT: David, I don't want to contradict an august reporter such as yourself, but I was made aware of the NIE last week. In August, I think it was Mike McConnell came in and said, we have some new information. He didn't tell me what the information was; he did tell me it was going to take a while to analyze.

__________________

Mr. Bush acknowledged one major failing of the early occupation of Iraq when he said of disbanding the Saddam Hussein-era military, "The policy was to keep the army intact; didn't happen."

But when Mr. Draper pointed out that Mr. Bush's former Iraq administrator, L. Paul Bremer III, had gone ahead and forced the army's dissolution and then asked Mr. Bush how he reacted to that, Mr. Bush said, "Yeah, I can't remember, I'm sure I said, 'This is the policy, what happened?' " But, he added, "Again, Hadley's got notes on all of this stuff," referring to Stephen J. Hadley, his national security adviser.

__________________

The book's opening anecdote tells of an unnamed CIA briefer who flew to Bush's Texas ranch during the scary summer of 2001, amid a flurry of reports of a pending al-Qaeda attack, to call the president's attention personally to the now-famous Aug. 6, 2001, memo titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in US." Bush reportedly heard the briefer out and replied: "All right. You've covered your ass, now."

Grammar

From Hal Hartley's Henry Fool.

Stuck in the Wick of It

I'd like to spend a few moments talking about microfiber. It has a creepy sort of ubiquity that could potentially alter our culture - think Velcro or polyester. How easy is it to find 100% cotton socks? (Right. I thought so.) If Buck Henry wrote The Graduate today, he'd substitute microfiber for plastic.

Sure microfiber is made of some magic substance that somehow deflects sticky kid fingers and it's made from fibers 200 times finer than human hair. But is it attractive? Does it feel remotely of this earth. No mssr's et madames, it does not. Still, we just bought two couches made of the stuff. Did I say resistance is futile (or in this case- resistance is textile? Oh. Boo.)

But, you say- those microfiber towels and sponges are groovy because they naturally attract dirt and dust. Well, I've found that they only do that when your hand is moving the cloth in the general direction of the dust. Like it doesn't work if the cloth is in the closet with the cleaning products and the dust is in the living room. See: not as magical as you might think. Still, you say, they're good for the planet, no more using all those paper towels. Okay. I'll give you that one. Oh, don't forget it's great for performance apparel because of it's amazing wicking ability. Right. If I had amazing wicking ability I'd be popular too.

Pushing Daisies

I watched Pushing Daisies for the first time last week because it was recommended here. I love it. One: because Ned, who can touch things and bring them back to life, runs a pie shop. Not only that it's called the Pie Hole. Isn't that great? Two: it's an opportunity to visit the set of the my beloved Gilmore Girls. Yes! That's right. The whole set is there- lock, stock and gazebo. Three: the writing and the surrealistic style. It's on Wednesdays at 8pm.

The Possibilities are Endless

My 3 year old daughter, Olivia, has a couple of new catch phrases. The first is, "don't try this at home." Say she's wearing her dad's slippers and hanging upside down from the rocking footstool - that would be an instance where this phrase applies. Say she's on the dining room floor trying to slide her legs up the wall while holding onto a balloon or a baby or a bag of cereal - again, the phrase would apply.


The other new phrase is a bit more complicated in nature and in execution (so to speak). Say I tell her she can't jump on the new couch. She'll reply, "When you die, and Dad dies, and everyone in the world dies, and they don't come back: Carter, Marshall, and I will jump on the couch." Or say she's riding in her car seat and we're on the way to her Dad's office she might say something like, "When you die, and Dad dies, and everyone in the world dies, and my baby pretends to die, and no one comes back: I'm going to Taco Bell." She coined this phrase today and this is her accumulated list for the past 3 hours, plus the following - eat oatmeal cookies, eat a chocolate lollipop, buy a Barbie, sleep on all the beds at the mattress store. She's going to be one busy girl.

Today's Pie is Envy.

And an American dollop (and we know how big those dollops are, don't we?) of admiration for Chris Boyd's 3 part interview with Laurie Anderson. Lucky, lucky boy.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Stanford Storytelling Project

I don't usually listen to the radio. If I do, I search for those obscure stations that have a broadcast radius of about a mile. So. College and high school radio mostly. Tonight I found or rather rediscovered 90.1 (KZSU) - the Stanford radio station. The program was from the Stanford Storytelling Project and tonight's topic was about the roles animals play in our lives. It's on every Monday at 6pm or you can get the podcast on itunes. If you haven't checked out Stanford itunes- well my friend, you don't know what you're missing. There are lectures by Frances Moore Lappé, the Dalai Lama, Al Gore, Calvin Trillin, Henry David Hwang, and Wallace Stegner among others. And it's free! How great is that?

Lines I Wish I'd Written

From Dora the Explorer.

Dora: (to Bennie the bull.) Can you give us a ride to the nut farm in your go-cart?

Before this my favorite line was from The Station Agent.

Olivia: Can I at least give you a ride back to your train station? The hotdog guy told me you lived there.

Hmm. Interesting that they both involve transportation and food.

Aaargh, You Scurvy Pirate!

My seven year old son has become concerned about coming down scurvy after he and his friend read about pirates in a Stephen Beisty cross-section book. This prompted him to try oranges. Unfortunately after touching one section he was repulsed by the texture and refused to eat it. Still he 's uneasy about the prospect of succumbing to such an illness. He asked about symptoms of scurvy the other night while I was making dinner.

C: What does Vitamin C do anyway? (He scoffs, trying to shake off his fear.)
E: Oh, you know, it helps the body create collagen.
C: What's that?
E: It makes up about every part of your body - your muscles, bones, eyes, teeth. That kinda thing.
C: Well, what happens when people get scurvy? (He starts giggling.) Do they lose their muscles? Do their eyes fall out? And their teeth?
E: Well, yeah. It's a serious disease.
C: Do they die?
E: They used to, but now we know that Vitamin C can prevent scurvy. There's absolutely no reason to die from scurvy these days.
C: Are there other foods besides oranges that have Vitamin C?
E: Sure. Tomatoes.
C: Yuck. What else?
E: Umm. Broccoli. Lettuce (as I make a salad).
C: Mom? I'm going to try lettuce tonight.
E: Really? That's great.
C: I'll try one piece.

Later. At dinner. Carter takes a quick bite of lettuce.

C: I like it. It tastes like apple. It's really good (as he sereptitiously put the lettuce on his napkin).
E: Why did you put the lettuce on your napkin?
C: Dad? Did you know that-
E: Carter? Why did you put your lettuce on the napkin?
C: I don't want it on my plate. It has salad dressing on it. Can I have it plain?
R: Sure. There's more lettuce.
E: No. We don't have any more plain lettuce.
C: Can I have it plain next time?
E: Just remember. You're going to have to eat a lot of lettuce if you want to prevent scurvy.

It's come to this. Threatening my child with scurvy. I will say this. It's gotten him interested in the properties of food. At the grocery store he asks me what vitamins are in certain foods. Like in the checkout line the other day, Carter asked me about garlic.

C: Can garlic save your life?
E: Well, it has properties that help combat certain diseases - it can boost immunity.

The checkout guy looks at me -

CG: Boy, that's an awkward question, isn't it?
E: How so?
CG: Well, you don't think vegetables can actually - they have things that save your life?
E: What vitamins and minerals? You don't believe in vitamins and minerals?
CG: Sure, I mean, I know that. But you know, garlic is just- if you didn't know the answer to his question you could just as easily say phytochemicals. (To Carter) Garlic has phytochemicals which is just a fancy way of saying plant chemicals.

The checkout guy looks up at me and winks. Ah. My friends. This is what we call a teaching moment. Some days I allow these moments to pass and become part of the noise. But in this case, I decide a smackdown is in order.

E: Do you know what those chemicals are?
CG: No.
E: Did you know they can be broken down into alkaloids like caffeine - I assume you drink coffee? Does it stimulate your nervous system or is that just your imagination? Or there are carotenes like lycopene which acts as an antioxidant? Or phenolic acids like capsaicin which can help relieve arthritic symptoms? Do you have problems with vampires?
CG: (rendered speechless)
E: See. Garlic works on many levels. I can't believe you work at Whole Foods.

Luciana Souza Sings Sonnet 49 (Neruda)

Life and Liberty

Is It Just Me?

I was driving by the local pumpkin patch yesterday and saw this.


Yep. It's for the kiddies. Nothing says tasteless like an inflatable Titanic slide.

Dan Zanes: All Around the Kitchen

Chaos is A Friend of Mine

The Top Ten Most Incomprehensible Bob Dylan Interviews of All Time can be found here.

Recent Additions to My Skill Set

I have a confession. I didn't learn to blow my nose until I was in my thirties. I think it was when I was pregnant for the first time. People tried to teach me, but I never quite caught on. We didn't have the internet then (back in the 80's) - so I didn't see this. My neighbor claims she didn't learn to sneeze until she was in her 20's. She was afraid it would hurt so she held her nose and kind of squeaked. I didn't like the feeling in my eardrums when I tried, so I gave up. This might be because I had a hole in my eardrum when I was child and it was incredibly painful. I mean I can't think of any other reason. Except this is yet another life skill my parents didn't impart to me. Come to think of it, I can't recall them ever blowing their nose. We never had Kleenex in our house. Am I a mutant?

Incidentally, this discussion came up because we were discussing how difficult it is to teach our children to blow their noses. I'm determined to impart this skill to them before they leave for college.

Found this little animation by Alexandre Alexeieff entitled Le Nez based on Gogol's The Nose. Enjoy!





What life skill should I conquer next? Well, anger management is an ongoing process. I can change a tire. Butcher a chicken. Make a fish costume. Perhaps yodeling?



Or whistling? Or both? Both?

Finding Your Level

My son was in a bad mood yesterday at the park and told me that he wanted to be a reporter and tell everyone that the park needed to be cut down. I tried to engage him by getting him to write a story about it, but that only made him more frustrated. He told me, "Well, I'll just be the President. They don't have to know anything or listen to anybody. They can do whatever they want. I can have this park cut down then."

Thanks, George, for bankrupting our children's future and their minds.

Good News/Bad News

• Jimmy Carter may be elected one more time.
• George H. W. Bush may be elected one more time.
• Bill Clinton may not be elected president again, as he has been elected twice already.
• George W. Bush may not be elected president again, as he has been elected twice already.
  

Thank the 12th and 22nd Amendments.

Shake It

HST Interview

Tell It

For many months after Leta’s birth I felt like I was going through an identity crisis, even after my hospital stay when I could think about things more clearly. I didn’t know I was going through it then, but I had many symptoms of a mid-life crisis, including excessive drinking and lashing out at the most important people in my life. I can look back at those months now and see what was going on, that suddenly I was a mother, but didn’t feel like I thought mothers were supposed to feel. It was as if overnight I had gone from working in the mail room to becoming the CEO, and I had no idea how to run a company. I didn’t want to run a company. (More here.)

Silicon Valley Impeachment Coalition

The Silicon Valley Impeachment Coalition (SVIC) and friends met with Meri Maben, Mike Honda's District Director, on August 27th in Campbell, CA. Mike Honda is the "representative" in the US House of Representatives from the 15th District of California (San Jose, Campbell, Los Gatos, Gilroy, Cupertino, Milpitas, Santa Clara).

Ms. Maben was presented with a letter from the SVIC including the following questions:
1) Why are you continuing to support an illegal war of invasion and occupation based on fabrication and lies?

2) Despite their seizure of unchecked executive power that is expressly forbidden by the Constitution, why do you continue the de facto pardon of Cheney and Bush by tabling impeachment? Why are you jeopardizing the future of our Republic by your silence?

3) What more would Cheney and Bush have to do in order for you to support the articles of impeachment?

(More here.)

Arguments Against Impeachment Don't Stand Up

Impeachment should be a hot topic in the halls of Congress and on the front pages of newspapers. But, since House Speaker Nancy Pelosi took impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney "off the table," most Democrats, including Silicon Valley Reps. Anna Eshoo, Mike Honda and Zoe Lofgren, are marching to Pelosi's drum beat.

Because of the media's self-imposed gag order on impeachment, most Americans are unaware that articles of impeachment to indict Cheney have been submitted to the House Judiciary Committee. The House Resolution Articles (HR 333) were submitted by Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, months ago. Since then, 19 Democrats, including Bay Area Reps. Lynn Woolsey of Santa Rosa, Barbara Lee of Oakland and Sam Farr of Salinas have signed on. (More here.)

More Blackwater

BAGHDAD, Tuesday, Sept. 18 — Blackwater USA, an American contractor that provides security to some of the top American officials in Iraq, has been banned from working in the country by the Iraqi government after a shooting that left eight Iraqis dead and involved an American diplomatic convoy.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Interior, Brig. Gen. Abdul Karim Khalaf, said Monday that authorities had canceled the company’s license and that the government would prosecute the participants. But under the rules that govern private security contractors here, the Iraqis do not have the legal authority to do so.

The shooting took place in Baghdad on Sunday, but the details were still unclear, and American officials stopped short of saying whether the Blackwater guards in the diplomatic motorcade had caused any of the deaths. Bombs were going off in the area at the time, and shots were fired at the convoy, American officials said.

“There was a firefight,” said Sean McCormack, the principal State Department spokesman. “We believe some innocent life was lost. Nobody wants to see that. But I can’t tell you who was responsible for that.” (More here.)

Laurie Anderson: National Debt PSA

Think it's time for the some financial counseling?

Blackwater

Seward Street Slides

Why hasn't anyone told me about this?



At Seward & Douglass Streets in San Francisco

Sprinkles

Let me say now that I have never walked into, say, Daily Grind, and found athletes scattered around the tables, performing squat thrusts, crunches, push-ups, or counting out sets of curls. Nor have I seen seamstresses roll out bolts of cloth, cut out patterns, then whip out their sewing machines. I’ve not seen veterinarians haul in their sick canines, pull them out of portable pet carriers, and administer rabies and parvo vaccinations. There have been exactly zero potters working their wheels, zero taxidermists stuffing their bobcats, zero toxicologists using petri dishes to play checkers, zero circus performers practicing their knife throwing, zero pilots working some kind of virtual reality take-off-and-landing apparatus, and zero exotic dancers using the sugar and cream kiosk as some kind of barre. One time I saw a general practitioner trying to drum up free breast exams, but he got kicked out.

So what’s with all the so-called writers thinking that their craft is some kind of spectator sport?

You Have My Permission

To stop what you're doing right now and do a little dance.

Glad to help out.

Inside-Out

Yes. That's Simon McBurney with the clipboard.

Where Do I Get This Notebook?

Mike Figgis Notebook (Moleskine)


Just Found:
Moleskine Pocket Japanese Book

Alice Waters and the Edible School Yard

In Transit

On the way to the ice cream store my 3 year daughter and 7 year old son engaged in one of their favorite topics of conversation:

O: How many times do you get dead?
C: Once. You only die once. You live once and you die.
Me: Some people believe in reincarnation. That you live life over and over again.
C: Yeah. I've heard of it. That happens with cats.

Mom?

C: Mom? When you were a kid did they have gaming systems?
E: No.
C: When did you get a gaming system?
E: When I was in college.
C: What was it?
E: An Atari.
C: What was your favorite game?
E: Megomania.
C: Mom? Did they have TV?
E: Yes.
C: Did you have elevators?

Top 10 Pop Up Books

Favorites of Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart

Way to Go, You Lame-Ass Democrats

Broad new surveillance powers approved by Congress this month could allow the Bush administration to conduct spy operations that go well beyond wiretapping to include — without court approval — certain types of physical searches on American soil and the collection of Americans’ business records, Democratic Congressional officials and other experts said.

Administration officials acknowledged that they had heard such concerns from Democrats in Congress recently, and that there was a continuing debate over the meaning of the legislative language. But they said the Democrats were simply raising theoretical questions based on a harsh interpretation of the legislation.

They also emphasized that there would be strict rules in place to minimize the extent to which Americans would be caught up in the surveillance.

The dispute illustrates how lawmakers, in a frenetic, end-of-session scramble, passed legislation they may not have fully understood and may have given the administration more surveillance powers than it sought. (more here)

Firedoglake had this to say:

I don’t know which claim is less credible: Is it the Administration’s argument, which Risen/Lichtblau report without comment, that they never intended such an overly broad gutting of FISA and do not intend to interpret the new statute that way, even though we know the DNI McConnell reportedly agreed to a narrower statute worked out with Congressional Democrats, only to have that version replaced by a much broader bill written by the White House? Or is it the Democrats claiming they are surprised that the Administration so badly misled them? How many examples of total duplicity does it take before the Democrats learn they cannot trust this Administration on any matter and should never cave to any Administration threat, especially when Constitutional rights are directly at stake?

The facts reported by Risen/Lichtblau are appalling on several levels. Above all, they confirm that even ignoring the leadership failures to coordinate their strategies in the final days before passage, Congressional Democrats were recklessly irresponsible in hastily passing a bill they failed to read and understand and still cannot explain to the public. They passed it even though they knew that the bill’s subject matter involved critical issues of Constitutional rights, individual and business privacy, and problematic domestic spying by the NSA, an organization that was never meant to spy on American citizens.

The Democrats also knew the Administration’s history in willfully violating the warrant requirements of FISA, and they knew the Administration has yet to explain what it is doing and how it can be legally justified. They knew the Administration had engaged in activities that were so blatantly unlawful that the previous Attorney General, the acting Attorney General and the Director of the FBI were prepared to resign if the activities continued. Yet knowing all this, they passed a bill written entirely by the Administration and never vetted through hearings that gutted FISA, a 28 year old statute that had been carefully crafted and updated after extensive public hearings. They recklessly gutted a statute designed to protect our rights against government abuses that had occurred during the Nixon and prior administrations, abuses that, given the Bush/Cheney regime’s history and statements, the Democrats knew were probably at risk here. (It only gets better. Check it out here.)

Yes. It must be difficult to live without a spine. Sell-out Democrats.

How many times do I have to write this article? How many times will these same Democrats give in to the worst president in history? So, this time, they caved on FISA. And they caved big time.

The president has been running an illegal warrantless wiretapping program since 2001. He has been continually and brazenly breaking the FISA law. He finally submitted the program to the FISA court recently. And a FISA judge said earlier this year that the program was not legal. Now how do the Democrats hold the president accountable for breaking this federal law?

Did they impeach him for high crimes and misdemeanors? Did they censure him? Did they cut off funding? No, not only did they not do any of these patently obvious things, but instead, they turned around and changed the law to give him the authority to ignore the courts. How do you not call them weaklings? How am I supposed to take it easy on them? How can this possibly be justified?

They made his illegal actions legal in retrospect. Instead of holding him accountable, they gave him a blank check. If all of this wasn't bad enough, they even removed the provision that the warrantless wiretapping be about an Al Qaeda operative or in some way linked to terrorism. So, the president now has BROADER authority to wiretap anyone who makes or receives a foreign call about ANYTHING.

You have got be asking yourself, why did they do this?! Do they know something we don't? And the answer is unequivocally - no! They know a lot less than you do. They are under the ridiculous assumption that voting against this president on any national security matter would hurt them politically.

You ass clowns, he is the least popular president in history! Nixon spent nowhere near this much time at a 25% approval rating. In fact, when Nixon got to be this unpopular, he was forced to resign. Can you imagine Democrats capitulating to Nixon on critical legislation days before his resignation? (more here)

Making Apple Pie

Yum.

Tom Hayden at the United for Peace & Justice National Assembly on June 22, 2007

Tom Hayden Interview

...we have to undermine the basis of terrorism which is humiliation and inequality. Most of our current leaders put all of their emphasis on security and only serve up rhetoric about inequality. I want to turn it around. I’d put 90 percent of the attention on inequality and ten percent on defense, because we already have a defense budget that is bigger than everybody else’s on earth. We spend 40 billion on intelligence and we are still clueless. (Read the rest here).

Christopher Walken Roasts A Chicken

Click here.

I remember that. I was talking to him and I said how great it would be if actors had a tail because I have animals and a tail is so expressive. On a cat you can tell everything. You can tell if they're annoyed. You can tell whether they're scared. - Christopher Walken

Note:
I had to edit this post because when the video was embedded the music came on every time I went to the blog and it was driving me nuts. So now, you must do the clicky thing. But I said that.

Blow Job

Dear Ms. Spren:

Thank you for your letter concerning impeachment proceedings against Vice President Richard Cheney. I appreciate the time you took to write and welcome the opportunity to respond.

In our most recent elections, the American people expressed clear disapproval with the path this country was on. They are tired of partisan politics and of an Administration that pays little heed to the wishes of the American people. They want-and deserve-a Congress that holds the Administration accountable and fulfills its Constitutional responsibility to check and balance the Executive branch. I share this sentiment and am determined to work hard and across party lines in the United States Senate to promote issues that are of real concern to most Americans, including the situation in Iraq and Afghanistan, homeland security, global warming, and lobbying and election reform.

At this time, however, I believe that impeachment proceedings against President Bush or Vice President Cheney will only divide the country even further, frustrating our hopes for a meaningful change in direction, while having little chance of success.

I have been deeply disappointed by many of this Administration's actions and have been outspoken in those instances. Nevertheless, given the challenges our country faces I believe that we need to focus on constructive and cooperative steps that would lead us in the right direction.

Again, thank you for your letter. If you have any further questions or comments, please contact my office in Washington, D.C. at (202) 224-3841. Best regards.

Sincerely yours,
Dianne Feinstein
United States Senator

Cindy Sheehan vs. Nancy Pelosi

Cindy Sheehan vows to challenge Nancy Pelosi for her house seat if Pelosi doesn't give the go-ahead to start impeachment proceedings against Bush. Read her article here.

The Beatles and The Bard

I have a wish list of Shakespearian actors I know I'll never get to see. John Wilkes Booth is one. Moe Howard of "Three Stooges" fame was a reputable Bard actor before he opted for a steady paycheck. The Beatles? I didn't even know they could be listed, but watch them from this 1964 U.K. tv show by clicking HERE.

Bob Dylan and Joan Baez 1977